You know you're a doula when...
You misread "Pasta Primavera" as "pasta primapara."
You carry more supplies and luggage to a birth than you do when you go on vacation.
You go to "ladies night out" to see the Chippendale strippers, and youcan't keep your eye off of that obviously-pregnant belly sitting 2 tables away.
You watch births on TV shows and can't help but talk to the television the entire time. "See, you shoulda had a doula!" "Stop counting to ten with each push. She knows how to push!" "WHY are they doing THAT??"
While watching "A Baby's Story" with your ten year old son, he rolls his eyes and says "not another epidural!"
You are watching "Baby Story" and your 6 year old granddaughter looks across the room and tells her Aunt "this is the screaming show". Of course we think she means because some of the women scream in labor, but "no" she replies "this is the show that Nanny always screams at".
Your two year old son sees a freshly born baby on The Baby Story show and says, "Awww, pretty baby."
You watch a professional basketball game on TV, see all those shaved heads as caputs, and speculate as to their presentation at birth.
Or...any large head you see makes you speculate how hard that would be to deliver.
You spend hours each day on the computer, yet when someone mentions they are in an "LDR", you first think of "Labor and Delivery Room". Not a long distance relationship.
You rejoice at the following - swearing, vomiting, pooping on the bed, nausea, gas, belching - let's see did I leave anything out? and think "Cool! We're getting close!"
You can see a woman vomit, urinate, defecate, spray amniotic fluid while in labor, or have a cesarean without a second thought. But if your child comes to you with a cut on his finger your knees swoon.
You check on your kids in the middle of the night and your three year old mumbles "Did her water break?"
Your almost 6 year old granddaughter says "Nanny can you come to my recital or do you have a doula thing to do"?
Your kids ask, "What was it, med or unmed," and they cheer at the unmedicated ones.
Your nine year old son is watching a Baby Story and mom has been pushing> awhile. *He* hollers at the TV..."Have her squat!"
Your seven-year-old daughter says, "Mom why don't Drs know this stuff?" while watching BS that stands for Baby Story and. well you know the other.