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You know you're a doula when...
(Author
Unknown)
You misread "Pasta Primavera" as "pasta primapara."
You carry more supplies and luggage to a birth than you do when
you go on vacation.
You go to "ladies night out" to see the Chippendale strippers, and
youcan't keep your eye off of that obviously-pregnant belly sitting
2 tables away.
You watch births on TV shows and can't help but talk to the television
the entire time. "See, you shoulda had a doula!" "Stop counting
to ten with each push. She knows how to push!" "WHY are they doing
THAT??"
While watching "A Baby's Story" with your ten year old son, he rolls
his eyes and says "not another epidural!"
You are watching "Baby Story" and your 6 year old granddaughter
looks across the room and tells her Aunt "this is the screaming
show". Of course we think she means because some of the women scream
in labor, but "no" she replies "this is the show that Nanny always
screams at".
Your two year old son sees a freshly born baby on The Baby Story
show and says, "Awww, pretty baby."
You watch a professional basketball game on TV, see all those shaved
heads as caputs, and speculate as to their presentation at birth.
Or...any large head you see makes you speculate how hard that would
be to deliver.
You spend hours each day on the computer, yet when someone mentions
they are in an "LDR", you first think of "Labor and Delivery Room".
Not a long distance relationship.
You rejoice at the following - swearing, vomiting, pooping on the
bed, nausea, gas, belching - let's see did I leave anything out?
and think "Cool! We're getting close!"
You can see a woman vomit, urinate, defecate, spray amniotic fluid
while in labor, or have a cesarean without a second thought. But
if your child comes to you with a cut on his finger your knees swoon.
You check on your kids in the middle of the night and your three
year old mumbles "Did her water break?"
Your almost 6 year old granddaughter says "Nanny can you come to
my recital or do you have a doula thing to do"?
Your kids ask, "What was it, med or unmed," and they cheer at the
unmedicated ones.
Your nine year old son is watching a Baby Story and mom has been
pushing> awhile. *He* hollers at the TV..."Have her squat!"
Your seven-year-old daughter says, "Mom why don't Drs know this
stuff?" while watching BS that stands for Baby Story and. well you
know the other.