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You know you're a doula when...
(Author
Unknown)
Your eight-year-old
son gives you the nickname "Bertha."
When your daughter's boyfriend knows what effacement is.
When your seven-year-old tells you not to talk about labor in public.
You are asked to speak about your career your daughter's girl scout/brownie
troupe and actually use your daughter to show back massage.
Your kids tell their friends that Mommy had another baby and was up all night.
Your children think all pregnant ladies know you.
Your children know more about birth than most women who have given birth to
3 babies.
Your seven-year-old son refuses to marry anyone who won't birth at home.
Your eight-year-old yells into the kitchen as you're fixing dinner, "She's only
2 centimeters and she's at the hospital already!"
Your son is doing a great job learning to read but cant figure out why the teacher
keeps talking about contractions.
Your 16 year old takes a child development class in high school and knows more
that the teacher about birth, breastfeeding and parenting.
You unconsciously think "Labor Pool" is a water-filled tub for a woman to lay
in while having her baby. not a group of workers.
You can't help but butt in on any conversation containing words related to childbirth.
You know the birth stories of your mother, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, cousins,
friends, neighbors, your children's teachers, the lady behind the counter at
the cleaners, and a few dozen people you'll never meet again.
You sometimes have a sock in your microwave.
Your child wakes you up in the middle of the night and you mumble, "How far
apart are they?"
You live for the times someone says, "A doula? What's that?"
You and your family think it's totally normal to discuss 1st, 2nd, 3rd & 4th
degree episiotomies over dinner... you explain what a placenta looked like over
spaghetti... heck you even discuss placental abruptions and calcifications over
a roast beef.
You've been in bed with more women than you care to admit in mixed company.
You've touched more breasts than you care to admit in mixed company.